


Nine Lives + Fairy Godmother + Guardian Angel

by violetvaria



Series: Jack and Mac Dialogues [3]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Bromance, Dialogue-Only, Epic Bromance, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Jack is NOT crying, Whump, so he says
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21629941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetvaria/pseuds/violetvaria
Summary: “Man, how are you even stillalive?”“What?”“You know what I’m talkin’ about. You’ve been shot—not just shotat, but actuallyshot—what? Like eight times?”“That’s a pretty big exaggeration, Jack.”“I’m countin’ grazes.”“Oh. Um…”~~~After yet another visit to medical, Jack and Mac talk about the nature of luck.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Jack and Mac Dialogues [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1345516
Comments: 16
Kudos: 46





	Nine Lives + Fairy Godmother + Guardian Angel

“Man, how are you even still _alive_?”

“What?”

“You know what I’m talkin’ about. You’ve been shot—not just shot _at_, but actually _shot_—what? Like eight times?”

“That’s a pretty big exaggeration, Jack.”

“I’m countin’ grazes.”

“Oh. Um…”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. And that doesn’t include all the stabbings. You’re practically a pincushion.”

“Now that’s really taking it too far.”

“So much so that you don’t think anything of stabbing your own self with, y’know, a rusty pair of scissors or whatever’s layin’ around.”

“Still haven’t let that one go, huh?”

“You think you’re a cat, Kitty MacGyver? You’re burnin’ through those nine lives awful quick.”

“Jack, that doesn’t even make sense.”

“Yeah? I’ll tell you what doesn’t make sense. You got the world’s busiest fairy godmother, grantin’ wishes right and left.”

“Granting wishes?”

“Like _don’t let his scrawny ass get blown up by this bomb_ and _don’t let this damn fool suffocate before I can get my hands on him and choke him myself_ and—”

“That’s supposed to be me talking to my fairy godmother?”

“Well, I maybe have to do the talking for you while you’re_ unconscious_.”

“Touché.”

“I can’t figure out if you got the best luck or the worst luck.”

“Jack, there’s no such thing as—”

“’Cause who else gets infected by freaky viruses and pumped full o’ weird drug cocktails and captured by baddies and—”

“Uh, _you_?”

“Yeah, fair point. But only ‘cause I’m your plus-one in those situations.”

“So you’re saying you bear no responsibility at all for what happens to us.”

“Nah, dude, I’m saying I’ve gotta be responsible to get us _out_!”

“And all those times you were asking me for a plan to escape…”

“Not sayin’ you’re not helpful. Just sayin’ it’d be _more_ helpful if you didn’t land us in the soup to begin with.”

“You know, Jack, I never got shot or stabbed or kidnapped before I met you.”

“So?”

“So empirical evidence suggests that the common denominator in these misadventures—”

“You plannin’ to start speaking English any time soon?”

“Maybe _you’re_ the one with the so-called ‘bad luck.’”

“Wha—”

“Think about it. Who’s always right next to me when something bad happens?”

“Yeah, tryna save your dumb genius self.”

“And how well is that working?”

“You drop that smug look right now, Mac. You’re alive, ain’t ya?”

“Exactly.”

“Huh?”

“What are you complaining about, Jack? I didn’t even have to stay overnight in medical this time.”

“Yeah, _this_ time. Key word. And before you say anything, no overnight stay does _not_ mean you’re fine.”

“But I—”

“No. From now on, you do not get to tell me you’re fine unless you have a doctor’s note backin’ you up.”

“Jack, do you think maybe you’re overreacting a little?”

“Overreacting? Overreacting? Hell, no, I don’t think I’m overreacting! If anything, I’m _under_reacting.”

“It was just barbed wire, Jack.”

“_Just_ barbed wire? Oh, _just_ barbed wire, he says! Well, no worries then! How ‘bout we just cover that up with a jacket, and everything will be great!”

“Jack—”

“Oh, wait. That’s what you _did_. And how’d that work out for you, Angus?”

“We got what we came for.”

“Yeah. Plus lots of nice little scars, just for the memories.”

“They don’t even hurt anymore.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Much.”

“Who even is your guardian angel? Tell me that. ‘Cause I wanna shake ‘em by the hand, maybe take ‘em out for a beer. They deserve it after what you put ‘em through.”

“Is that a subtle hint that you want me to buy you a beer?”

“What? You can’t have beer. Not on those meds. Are you even lucite?”

“You mean _lucid_?”

“All right, you’re soundin’ a little better than you were six hours ago. Even if you do talk nonsense half the time.”

“I’m not the one talking about nine lives and fairy godmothers.”

“And guardian angels. Don’t forget that one.”

“If I have nine lives and a fairy godmother, why do I need a guardian angel too?”

“You need all three. Definitely. Maybe more. Trust me on that one.”

“I do, Jack.”

“What?”

“Trust you. You’re my guardian angel.”

“Oh—”

“Don’t look at me. That came out wrong. We’re not having a moment.”

“Kinda seems like we are, bro.”

“I’m just saying that…it isn’t luck or mythical regeneration powers that get me out of stuff like—like—”

“Like pretty much every mission that goes sideways?”

“Fine, yeah. That. It’s…it’s you. Having my back. Like always.”

“Hm.”

“Jack, are you _crying_?”

“_No_. Are you?”

“Uh, no.”

“Well, maybe you should be.”

“What?”

“Gettin’ all sappy and sentimental on me like that. ‘Nuff to make a grown man cry.”

“I thought you said you weren’t crying.”

“I’m _not_. I just said—”

“So you’re not a grown man?”

“You hush up, little boy, or I might accidentally drop you out of the car on the way home.”

“No, you won’t.”

“You’re right. I spend way too much time tryna keep you _in_ moving vehicles ‘stead of falling headfirst out of ‘em.”

“You know sometimes that’s the only way to shake—”

“Yeah, yeah, Baby Einstein. Come on. Let’s pick up your meds and go home.”

“I can’t wait. Bozer’s cooking tonight. Said he’d have some cold ones ready for us when we got back.”

“Cold ones for who now?”

“Fine. Cold _water_ for me. Happy now?”

“No. But you heal up and maybe I will be.”

“You can relax now, Jack. We’re back. We’re home.”

“That don’t always mean _safe_ when it comes to you, brother.”

“Do…you want to sleep on my couch or something?”

“Might be just as well. Seein’ as how I’m gonna be takin’ up the slack for you on those beers.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Plus, save Boze the trouble of gettin’ up to, y’know, get your meds and stuff when you wake up in the night.”

“Who says I’m going to wake up in the night? Okay, okay, don’t give me that look.”

“Sure don’t make it easy, do you?”

“Make what easy?”

“Takin’ care of you. Keepin’ you safe.”

“I don’t know, Jack. You make it look pretty easy.”

“…Just get in the car, dude.”

“You _are_ crying.”

“I ain’t a sissy.”

“Never said you were. It’s…kind of sweet, in a weird way.”

“Yeah? Well, your face is in a weird way.”

“That didn’t make sense, Jack.”

“Get in the car. Dumb genius tryna make me old before my time—”

“I can still hear you, you know.”

“’Bout time you listen to me.”

“You planning on starting the car anytime soon? Or do I have to explain how ignition works again?”

“Smartass. That’s who I work with. You just rarin’ to get started on life number nine?”

“How do you figure I’m up to nine already?”

“I figure you’re _past_ nine, man. Maybe you’re three cats all in one.”

“That might be the strangest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go. Arms and legs inside and accounted for?”

“What, do you want to count my fingers and toes next?”

“Don’t think I won’t next time you ‘forget’ to tell me about a little thing like falling onto an electric barbed—”

“It wasn’t electrified.”

“Well, it _mighta_ been, and you probably wouldnta said anything then either, and you woulda given me a heart attack, and _whoop_! There goes your guardian angel.”

“Did you just snap your fingers in my face?”

“Just makin’ sure you’re payin’ attention, hoss.”

“I heard you, Jack. The first eight times you went through this same lecture.”

“Good. Gotta cover all those nine lives. And that’s nothin’ compared to what you’ll get from Matty tomorrow. Fairy godmothers don’t much like you makin’ their jobs harder either.”

“So now Matty’s my fairy godmother?”

“Somebody’s gotta be.”

“Jack, any chance we could—I don’t know—maybe just drop this conversation anytime in the near future?”

“Maybe in your next life. If you can make this one last longer than a week.”

“Jaaack.”

“Hey, don’t you take that tone with me. I’m the one haulin’ you home every time you get hurt, you know?”

“I know, Jack. And if I really did have nine lives—”

“More than, the rate you go through ‘em.”

“—You’d be there for all of them. Watching my back, just like always.”

“Ehh…”

“Sorry to make you cry again. Watch the road.”

“Shut it, wiseguy. I just got somethin’ in my eye.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Hey, Mac?”

“Yeah?”

“I—I’m glad I got you. In the partner lottery.”

“The partner lottery?”

“Yeah. I got lucky.”

“All right, big guy. Enough with the emotions, okay?”

“You’re s’posed to say you’re the lucky one.”

“There’s no such thing as luck.”

“Hmph.”

“But if there were…yeah, I was lucky too, Jack.”


End file.
